Three Sayings a Black Granny Would Use to Respond to Donald Trump and Joe Biden

Branden Janese
Oct 1, 2020 - 10:00

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On September 25, Donald Trump announced The “Platinum Plan.” The final hour, shot in the dark scheme, aims to “to woo Black voters with loans and lofty economic promises,” according to Forbes. 

It’s no secret that Joe Biden has been playing Black people for fools since he started his political career. And at the debate of the century, both men left with egg on their faces. 

My grandmother would say the way these men treat Black voters is a crying shame, and my grandmother is always right. 

Here are three sayings a Black granny would use to describe Donald Trump, Joe Biden and their latest views on Black America. 

On The “Platinum Plan”

“President Trump must think that Black folks are dumber than a second coat of paint.” 

We know Trump ain’t rooting for nobody Black. $500 billion? When I read the “Platinum Plan,” two things came to mind. First I thought, where did this fool get that name, from Platinum Fubu? The Platinum Plan, really. Why didn’t he just name it the “Poppin’ Tags, Stunt 101, Big Pimpin Plan.” The second thing I thought about was the scene from the movie “Austin Powers,” when Dr. Evil calls the President in 1969 and demands $100 billion and everyone in the Oval Office bursts out laughing. Same.

On Joe Biden saying, “If you have a problem figuring out if you are for me or for Trump, then you ain’t Black.”

“He got a lotta damn nerve.”

I mean, damn. After Hilary Clinton disgustingly pandered to Black voters by saying on “The Breakfast Club” that she has “hot sauce in her bag,” I’m convinced that interviews with Charlemange are where presidential candidates go to make a fool out of themselves. What’s up with white politicians firmly believing that all Black people live, breathe and vote in a vacuum?  Some of us watched the 1994 video of Biden saying that in fifteen years our children will be super predators. Biden calling Trump a racist? Seems like the pot is calling the kettle black. 

On President Trump’s claim that Joe Biden wants to cancel the remaining scheduled debates. 

“People in hell want ice water.”

The first debate was not even a debate, it was two 70-year-old, rich white men screaming like second graders during a recess break. I had more of an intellectual debate with my five-year-old nephew when we were approaching night-night time and he wanted to stay up late to watch “Boss Baby.” Yes. My five-year-old nephew made better points than either candidate did during that debate. 

However, we can’t cancel the debate just because it’s not going well. We have to move on in the position we have found ourselves in. Biden can’t drop out just because he is afraid of losing. Black people don’t have that luxury of just canceling life because we are not being treated fairly, and neither should anyone running for Commander in Chief. Take the advice you gave our grandmothers, Mr. Joe Biden, and pull yourself up by your bootstraps.

One Reply to “Three Sayings a Black Granny Would Use to Respond to Donald Trump and Joe Biden”

  1. When I look at both candidates on the surface I see two rich, old white men who are out of touch with the average American. That being said, if one of the old rich men with the Black female running mate gets in office, there is a chance for the first Black woman President. And for that I remain hopeful.

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