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How to Spot a Phony Politician This Election Season

Branden Janese
Oct 20, 2020 - 12:10

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‘Tis the season to be judgmental. ‘Tis the season to be curious. ‘Tis the season to be picky about your vote for federal and local elected officials. 

The word politician is phony, I prefer the term public servant. With one of the most important Presidential elections of our time two weeks away, it’s important for everyone to complete one crucial job: vote for politicians (meaning people who have experience and desire to serve the public), not businessmen. 

What sparked this article was a social media post from the early 2000’s rapper and OG troller 50 Cent, who tweeted that he was voting for Donald Trump because Joe Biden planned on raising taxes too high. The rapper  said, “I don’t care [if] Trump don’t like Black people…”

I understand how it’s easy to say, ‘Fuck it, I’m not voting because it’s too hard to separate the saints from the sharks.’ However, the idea of voting for white supremacy because of a tax break soars clear over my head. I truly hope that 50 Cent’s tweet inspires folks to understand that without everyone’s vote, it’s easier for the tax evaders, the scammers and the bigots to be rewarded with seats of Democratic power. 

It’s impossible to know anyone’s true agenda, but here are five ways to spot a phony politician and their co-conspirators. 

1.If you know the first and last name of a politician and you know about their money scandal but not what party they represent, chances are they are a phony public servant.

2. If they align themselves with corporations that exploit prison labor, immigrants, or children, chances are they are a phony.

3. If you know the music discography of a political candidate, chances are they spent less time studying politics than Joe Exotic. 

4. If you notice that they tweet misinformation at ungodly hours of the night, chances are they are a phony.

5. If their last name is Trump, most likely they are faker than a four dollar bill.

Most importantly, if you paid more than $750 in taxes at any time in your adult life and know right from wrong, chances are you are overqualified and should be running to serve as a public servant in your community.

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