Five Sayings a Black Granny Would Use to Respond to Donald Trump & His Case of COVID-19

Branden Janese
Oct 6, 2020 - 2:42

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We, the people of the United States have been duped again. Maskless and shameless, President Trump is out here making a mockery of a pandemic that has plagued our nation. To add insult to the virus, the White House Gift Shop is selling ‘Trump defeats COVID’ commemorative coins for $100. 

Ain’t no way in hell that Donald Trump, the oldest president in American history, contracted the coronavirus and after a brief hospital stay, tweeted, “Don’t be afraid of Covid. I felt better than I did 20 years ago!” It’s a slap in the face to people who have had family members die from the virus for the president to use it as some sort of pandemic pawn.

I can’t take the president of the United States seriously anymore. 

Here are five sayings a Black Granny would use to respond to Donald Trump downplaying the coronavirus. 

“My momma ain’t raise no fool”

Donald Trump is a walking health risk. He’s over 70, overweight, and has the heavy trans fat diet of a pimple-faced teenager. Yet we are supposed to believe that he magically defeated the odds and within the blink of an eye survived the modern day plague. Okay.  

“I was born at night, not last night”

I’m really not trying to be funny, but most people I know attended more prestigious universities and graduated higher in their class than Donald Trump did. If he did get COVID-19 and is now cured, that means that there is a cure. Trump is not in a position to defeat any ailments. My gut is telling me that he ain’t had nobody’s damn virus. 

“That man is 10 years older than black pepper”

Older adults are the number one group of people who risk becoming severely ill from COVID-19. Donald Trump is 74-years-old and has one of the most stressful jobs in the world. Either he is lying about his age or lying about having COVID-19. And let’s face it, Trump’s old age couldn’t get past blind man. 

“You believe Donald Trump really was sick? I got a bridge to sell you”

The only thing that would make Trump’s shenanigans worthwhile is if he claimed that he contracted COVID-19, and that he is defeating it using Medicare insurance. 

“He ain’t gotta lie to kick it”

The way that the Trump administration is spewing out a narrative that clumsy frames Trump as a ‘heroic’ president, reeks of desperation. He’s like a white kid at a high school in a wealthy neighborhood who dresses up like a New York rapper from the hood to impress the Black kids at school. The way he is flaunting his health is second-hand embarrassment at its cringiest.

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